Helpful Advice

Me: Teacher, one of the students called my narrator(me) spoiled, arrogant, insensitive and whiny.

Pause.

Teacher: You should have slapped her across the face. Then said, And violent.

Road Rage, My Bad

I learned a valuable lesson today, folks. Actually, I should have learned this long ago and even not so long ago. Let me explain…

I live very close to a freeway exit which is awesome and not. One of the problems is that 4-5 lanes merge when I need to get over to the exit only lane. It’s dangerous and even more so at rush hour. So I’m driving home in rush hour after just doing a reading of my work to an audience at school. Nerves were ripe.

I got almost all the way to the right without getting hit and there’s this dude who won’t let me into the exit only lane that I need to be into so I can go home. So, I flipped him off and yelled. He saw me and then I realized that he wasn’t trying to keep me out of the lane – he didn’t even see me because he was talking on the phone. I continued to struggle to get over and ended up in front of him. I knew this wasn’t a gracious act on his part and thought, oh bugger.

When we exited, I pulled into a different lane and he pulled behind me. His high beams were on and he was following close. I drove by my house because, as I said, I learned that lesson. I quickly pulled into a left hand turn lane hoping he would continue straight ahead. He pulled behind me. I was at a stop. I locked my door.

He got out of the car and came to my window. It struck me as amusing that he had his cel phone in hand. This was our exchange:

“What’s your problem?”

“You shouldn’t drive while you are on the phone.”

“What’s your problem?”

“You shouldn’t drive while you are on the phone.”

And then he walked back to his car. We both turned and after a moments pause he drove away from me. I doubled back and went home.

Did he think I was crazy and flipping him off for no reason? Did he have anger management problems? Do I?

All I can do is give this advice. If you are driving home in rush hour in your fancy convertible car with the special ‘art’ license plate don’t flip off the guy on the phone in the beat up mini van who, it turns out, works for Fed Ex or at least was wearing one of their T-shirts. I hope he’s not a Fed Ex driver.

And I promise to stop flipping people off. I promise. I promise. I promise. I’ll pretend to do it in my head instead.

Definition

So I’m putting together some vocabulary definitions for my ESL class. I get them from the Mac Dictionary because the meanings are fairly simple. Tonight I looked up “equipment”.

I don’t think I’ll be giving my students this.

(informal) used euphemistically to refer to a man’s penis and testicles.

Luminosity

I can’t remember how I found this site but that’s the very reason I registered on it. Luminosity.com tag line is ‘reclaim your brain’.

My memory has been failing me every since I can remember. Although I was excellent at the ‘memory’ game when I was little. I want it back. I played my first Luminosity game, Attention, and it was hard! But I’m going to keep going. That’s right brain, I’m taking charge. Memory will be mine!

Did I mention that it’s kind of fun and you can challenge your friends?

Advice, please

What’s the best way to clean moth guts off your computer screen?