Wiggin’

I bought my first wig yesterday. Nothing like I expected for my first, but fun nonetheless. And appropriate for the season. I’m going as bride of Frankenstein for Halloween. And I’ll be looking for my husband.

And then there was no light

I was dreaming about defrosting something from the freezer, of all places. Then I was dreaming I went into a building and all of a sudden there was a blackout. No one knew what to do. I ran into a guy I dated. Then I woke up.

Later I realized my new nifty light-alarm clock turned off. This was the cause of the blackout.

Last Night

I dreamed I was flossing my teeth.

Dreaming

Last night I dreamed I made a margarita with tequila and rose wine.

Dreams

Last night I dreamed I had a stuffy nose.

Married? Yes, married.

This marriage thing has really got me thinking – about the in-laws. I had a realization the other day that the fiance’s new baby nephew will actually be my nephew soon. That our marriage also means the joining of our families. This may sounds obvious but it was weird to think about.

Then there was the conversation with the soon-to-be-father-in-law. We were talking about our wedding plans partly in hopes that he’d offer some financial help. He was saying how expensive his daughter’s wedding was. Then he turned to me, laughed and said, Your parents have to pay for this one.

Ha ha ha. It was like I’d been slapped. It took me a minute to decide whether or not to remind him my father’s dead. I chose not to. Instead I turned to my hubby-to-be and said, Maybe we should elope. The one thing I knew his father doesn’t want to happen. Then forty minutes -yes i was clocking myself – I came up with a more appropriate response. If I could relive the moment it would go like this…

Then he turned to me, laughed and said, Your parents have to pay for this one.

I replied, Yes, and I’m a virgin and your son will be financially supporting me for the rest of my life.

We’ve decided on a potluck. I will not ask for any money from the in-laws.

Steady Work?

It’s been a year since I moved to Oakland and although I love it, I’m so tired of looking for work. Do you know how many W-2’s I’m going to have when I fill out my taxes next year?

I went to a job fair yesterday for a teaching position. I don’t have my credential yet – am paying to get it because that’s basically how you get credentialed – you throw some money at the state government. Anyway, I was under the impression that I could apply for the job while I waited for the application to go through. Nope.

I was kind of led on and now I’m kind of annoyed. Still waiting to get my credential and when I do, then I’ll send in my application

In the meantime…I’m trying to think of things I can sell to bring in some cash.

Still here

It’s been a long time since I’ve been on this blog. I blame this on my instructor asking me to write about my crazy job experience this summer. I’ve been writing that instead of writing this. The good news is I have an amusing currently 70 page story almost ready for submission. The other good news is that I quit that crazy job last week.

I also started a new blog dedicated to my short short fiction at http://32wordstories.wordpress.com.

I’m also working on getting my website up and starting an online publication. Whew. I think it’s nap time…

I love Kim Chee

I have always loved Kim Chee. Spicy, garlic, pungent. My CSA box has been sending me Napa Cabbage. It’s crazy big and not much else to do with it but stir fry as far as I know. I thought about making Kim Chee but have always intimidated. Then I mentioned in my ESl class that I love Kim Chee. The next day, a student brings me some. Today she told me the recipe. It sounded so easy, no measuring of course – but I figured I could handle it. It needs a few days to ferment. I’ll let you know how it goes. So far, it’s a little salty!

I thought I’d add this poem that I wrote. Completely unrelated to my recent culinary adventures…

The Warriors of Spring

Connie always wore
Her swimsuit over panties
White, dotted with tiny flowers
Bulging underneath lycra
And out through leg holes

I never understood why
But never asked
Because asking is telling

I told myself that she already knew
And I liked going to her house
Having her teach me scales on the piano
While her mother made Kim Chee

I was nine when I learned
I can rescue you if you get hurt
In the water
I know how to hold you and swim you to shore
And I can save myself
By letting go

Simply drift and wait

I was out sick the day school tested our survival skills. The following week I floated, deserted, for an hour in a roped off part of the pool. I would have been easily spotted from above, dark hair snaking in warm aqua water while the others jumped and screamed and splashed five feet away.

As I hovered over the deep end
I thought about Connie
Uncomfortable in thick
Cotton soaked underwear
Then I imagined myself
In the middle of the ocean

All alone
Hoping

I swim now, twenty-some years later
With more or less fear
I can’t tell

Being weightless
Reminds me of childhood
I let the blue and white tiled path
Lead me to the other side
Then back again
As though I need to be guided
Still
Chlorinated chest high water

Connie cried
When two boys saw
Her sitting on the toilet
In the church bathroom
One held the other up
To peer over the stall

It doesn’t matter
What could they have seen?
I said

But it didn’t matter
What
I said

If you find yourself stranded at sea with no boat and no life vest, remain calm. Hold your arms out in the shape of a U with your face under water. Lift your head only when you need to breathe.

My Pet

I miss her. She runs a thai massage place in LA. And yes, her name is Pet. She’s the tiniest 50+ woman who can inflict all kinds of pain. And I so need it right now.

I hurt my back/neck swimming but as it turns out I have a chronic problem that needs consistent attention. I’ve been trying to readjust my posture but the pain won’t go away. I think it’s been a month. I went to someone a couple of weeks ago but she was no Pet. In fact, I feel asleep while she was grinding her fingers into my back. This meant to me, not enough good pain to get rid of the bad pain.

I need help. So I found a thai massage place in the city and I’m having one of those moments where I wish I lived back in LA. (Because I had a job there and Pet charged only $45/hr) I decided this morning when I was lying on my back perfectly still and I took a breath and felt the sharp pain in my neck, that I’m going to break out the credit card.

BTW: I’m pretty much down to one job which is teaching one hour a week. Not enough cash flow, really.