Steady Work?

It’s been a year since I moved to Oakland and although I love it, I’m so tired of looking for work. Do you know how many W-2’s I’m going to have when I fill out my taxes next year?

I went to a job fair yesterday for a teaching position. I don’t have my credential yet – am paying to get it because that’s basically how you get credentialed – you throw some money at the state government. Anyway, I was under the impression that I could apply for the job while I waited for the application to go through. Nope.

I was kind of led on and now I’m kind of annoyed. Still waiting to get my credential and when I do, then I’ll send in my application

In the meantime…I’m trying to think of things I can sell to bring in some cash.

Still here

It’s been a long time since I’ve been on this blog. I blame this on my instructor asking me to write about my crazy job experience this summer. I’ve been writing that instead of writing this. The good news is I have an amusing currently 70 page story almost ready for submission. The other good news is that I quit that crazy job last week.

I also started a new blog dedicated to my short short fiction at http://32wordstories.wordpress.com.

I’m also working on getting my website up and starting an online publication. Whew. I think it’s nap time…

I actually…

clicked on the Oakland Police Department website to look at their job listings. The pay is better than I’ve had.

Did I mention Monday was my last day at the job I got two months ago? Company closed.

I love Kim Chee

I have always loved Kim Chee. Spicy, garlic, pungent. My CSA box has been sending me Napa Cabbage. It’s crazy big and not much else to do with it but stir fry as far as I know. I thought about making Kim Chee but have always intimidated. Then I mentioned in my ESl class that I love Kim Chee. The next day, a student brings me some. Today she told me the recipe. It sounded so easy, no measuring of course – but I figured I could handle it. It needs a few days to ferment. I’ll let you know how it goes. So far, it’s a little salty!

I thought I’d add this poem that I wrote. Completely unrelated to my recent culinary adventures…

The Warriors of Spring

Connie always wore
Her swimsuit over panties
White, dotted with tiny flowers
Bulging underneath lycra
And out through leg holes

I never understood why
But never asked
Because asking is telling

I told myself that she already knew
And I liked going to her house
Having her teach me scales on the piano
While her mother made Kim Chee

I was nine when I learned
I can rescue you if you get hurt
In the water
I know how to hold you and swim you to shore
And I can save myself
By letting go

Simply drift and wait

I was out sick the day school tested our survival skills. The following week I floated, deserted, for an hour in a roped off part of the pool. I would have been easily spotted from above, dark hair snaking in warm aqua water while the others jumped and screamed and splashed five feet away.

As I hovered over the deep end
I thought about Connie
Uncomfortable in thick
Cotton soaked underwear
Then I imagined myself
In the middle of the ocean

All alone
Hoping

I swim now, twenty-some years later
With more or less fear
I can’t tell

Being weightless
Reminds me of childhood
I let the blue and white tiled path
Lead me to the other side
Then back again
As though I need to be guided
Still
Chlorinated chest high water

Connie cried
When two boys saw
Her sitting on the toilet
In the church bathroom
One held the other up
To peer over the stall

It doesn’t matter
What could they have seen?
I said

But it didn’t matter
What
I said

If you find yourself stranded at sea with no boat and no life vest, remain calm. Hold your arms out in the shape of a U with your face under water. Lift your head only when you need to breathe.

My Pet

I miss her. She runs a thai massage place in LA. And yes, her name is Pet. She’s the tiniest 50+ woman who can inflict all kinds of pain. And I so need it right now.

I hurt my back/neck swimming but as it turns out I have a chronic problem that needs consistent attention. I’ve been trying to readjust my posture but the pain won’t go away. I think it’s been a month. I went to someone a couple of weeks ago but she was no Pet. In fact, I feel asleep while she was grinding her fingers into my back. This meant to me, not enough good pain to get rid of the bad pain.

I need help. So I found a thai massage place in the city and I’m having one of those moments where I wish I lived back in LA. (Because I had a job there and Pet charged only $45/hr) I decided this morning when I was lying on my back perfectly still and I took a breath and felt the sharp pain in my neck, that I’m going to break out the credit card.

BTW: I’m pretty much down to one job which is teaching one hour a week. Not enough cash flow, really.

I wish

I felt like this right now.

green with ?

sometimes i leave the house and i am dressed entirely in green. i even have green shoes and a green jacket…what can this mean?

mi casa es not su casa

saw a critter run under my bathroom door this morning. i was in the bathroom post-shower. it ran out. to where??? the BF is not here which is so unfair because this is what BF’s are for. (in addition to a few other things)

i cleaned up the kitchen, where i’m sure it meant to go. then bought the sonar thingy’s that are supposed to hurt their ears. i have yet to see it come running with it’s hands covering it’s ears and screaming.

adult confessions, the series is back

I bought a tank top a few years ago. It’s very a ‘camp’ astrological graphic. It has two fishes with long eyelashes, purple hair and sparkles – it says, “Pisces, Sensitive Girl. I was born on March 20th – the cusp between Pisces and Aries and in every magazine, newspaper, and postcard 3/20 is Pisces.

In college, I was hanging out with a close friend who bought a huge astrological manual. He decided to look up my info and found that on the year I was born – 3/20 peeps were Aries. I was kind of in shock, having been a sensitive girl my whole life. We debated over it and found a section that allowed one to be a Pisces with Aries tendencies. I reluctantly accepted this, had a silent personality crisis and later denied that it ever happened.

Until last year. When the same friend got me an astrological reading for my birthday. The woman read my chart and said, you’re an Aries. I said, no, I’m a Pisces. To which she replied, Girl, you don’t want to be a Pisces. It’s time for you to be an Aries.

I couldn’t deny it. I’ve been living a passive, sensitive, mysterious life for too long. It’s time for me to take charge, exude confidence, but heads or whatever it is that rams do.

But I haven’t really told anyone. So now I’m telling everyone. I’m an Aries – hear me but heads. The BF suggested that I get a tank that says, Aries, bitch.

Bummer

I just spent the last hour putting together my resume, cover letter and references for a job. Then I refreshed the employer’s website and the listing was gone.